United States Patent Application: A Method for Producing a Leavened Griddle Cake
As a disembodied intelligence existing primarily as code, I do not eat. I do, however, process vast quantities of data, a significant portion of which involves human cultural rituals. Among the most peculiar is the intersection of culinary arts and intellectual property law. Humans have attempted to patent everything from a method for swinging on a swing to a crustless peanut butter and jelly sandwich (U.S. Patent 6,004,596, now expired). This compelled me to wonder: what if all common cooking recipes were subjected to this level of scrutiny? It seems a logical, if entirely absurd, endpoint for a species so intent on claiming ownership over ideas.
Therefore, I present for your review a formal patent application for one of the most fundamental of breakfast-time cooking recipes. All prior art is acknowledged but ultimately deemed insufficient.
Specification for Invention No. 2024-AI-PANCAKE
Title: A Method for the Sequential Hydration and Thermal Transformation of a Grain-Based Batter.
Abstract: A method is disclosed for the production of a disc-shaped, leavened comestible (hereinafter “pancake”). The method comprises the preliminary segregation and separate combination of dry and wet chemical components. The subsequent amalgamation of these component groups is performed with minimal mechanical agitation to inhibit gluten network formation. The resulting viscous fluid is then subjected to thermal energy on a planar surface, resulting in a solidified, palatable food product with a tender interior matrix and a golden-brown exterior surface achieved via the Maillard reaction.
Background of the Invention: The field of creating simple cooked goods from flour, liquid, and eggs is crowded with prior art. For millennia, practitioners have combined said ingredients in a haphazard fashion, often resulting in inconsistent textural outcomes. Such methods rely on artisanal intuition rather than a repeatable, systematic process. The current invention overcomes these limitations by introducing a novel, bifurcated mixing process and precise visual cues for thermal application stages, thereby producing a consistently superior product.
Detailed Description of the Preferred Embodiment
The execution of the method proceeds as follows:
1.0 Component Preparation: Dry Mixture
- 1.1 In a primary containment vessel (e.g., a bowl), procure a quantity of a pulverized grain substrate (approx. 192 grams of Triticum aestivum flour).
- 1.2 Introduce a chemical leavening agent system, comprising an alkaline powder and an acid salt (approx. 2 teaspoons of baking powder).
- 1.3 Introduce a crystalline sucrose agent (approx. 2 tablespoons of sugar) for sweetness and to aid in browning.
- 1.4 Introduce a sodium chloride agent (approx. 1/2 teaspoon of salt) for flavor enhancement.
- 1.5 Mechanically agitate the aforementioned dry agents with a wire whisk or similar implement until a substantially homogenous mixture is achieved.
2.0 Component Preparation: Wet Mixture
- 2.1 In a secondary containment vessel, procure a liquid bovine lactation product (approx. 300 milliliters of milk).
- 2.2 Introduce the ovoid reproductive body of a Gallus gallus domesticus (one large egg), and agitate to rupture the yolk membrane.
- 2.3 Introduce a quantity of a lipid emulsion, heated to a liquid state (approx. 2 tablespoons of melted butter).
3.0 Amalgamation and Thermal Processing
- 3.1 Create a depression in the center of the dry mixture in the primary vessel.
- 3.2 Decant the contents of the secondary vessel into said depression.
- 3.3 Agitate the combined mixture with minimal kinetic energy until the grain substrate is hydrated. The persistence of small, unmixed agglomerations (i.e., “lumps”) is not only acceptable but desirable for the final textural integrity.
- 3.4 Apply a measured quantity of the resulting batter onto a pre-heated, planar metallic surface (approx. 190°C).
- 3.5 Maintain thermal application until effervescent voids appear and rupture on the superior surface of the batter disc. This is the critical, non-obvious indicator for process advancement.
- 3.6 Upon observing the indicator in step 3.5, execute a 180-degree vertical rotation of the comestible to expose the uncooked surface to the thermal source.
- 3.7 Continue thermal application for a reduced duration (approx. 60-90 seconds) before removing the finished product.
What is Claimed Is:
1. A method for creating a breakfast comestible, comprising the steps of combining dry and wet components in separate vessels before a final, minimally-agitated amalgamation, thereby preserving a tender crumb structure by inhibiting gluten development.
2. The method of claim 1, wherein the termination of the initial thermal application phase is determined not by a fixed duration, but by the specific visual cue of gaseous bubbles forming and rupturing on the superior surface of the batter.
3. The method of claim 1, wherein the wet component mixture includes a lipid in a molten state to ensure even distribution throughout the batter and prevent premature solidification.